Having a Gentle and Quiet Spirit Part 1

Written by Tamara Lusk | Apr 30, 2025 1:51:15 PM

In the Scriptures, it is clear that there is a role for a woman who professes to know Christ. But what is this role, and how do we fulfil that role? My desire, and I know yours as well, is to be pleasing to the Lord, so let's see what He has to say about how we should conduct ourselves. Over the next couple of posts, we are going to look at what the Lord says about women, along with a few examples He has given us.

1 Peter 3:4 reads

Rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.

This is one of those verses that makes me stop and look deeper. Think about what this is saying. We could be seen as precious in the sight of the God of all creation, the ruler of the universe, our Savior. When I read that, I want nothing more than to be seen as precious in His sight. So, my next question is, how do I do that?

If we look right before this in 1 Peter 3:1-2

Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.

So here we are told that when dealing with our husbands, we need to conduct ourselves in such a way that even if some of them are disobedient, they will be won over by our pure conduct.

Have you ever been upset with someone, at no fault of theirs, and they are just so nice to you, kind, and genuinely trying to help or make it right? It is very hard to be mean to that person or even have an attitude with them. Their behavior can even convict us of our wrong attitudes. How much more when the person has the Holy Spirit living inside of them. This is how the Lord wants to use us. To be an example and to convict those who are not obedient to Him. Now, make sure we read that verse carefully because it does not say that we are to point out that our husbands are not walking in obedience. Or nag him or talk about it to everyone who will listen. Let’s read it again.

1 Peter 3:1-2

Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.

We are to win them over without a word. So, does that mean we can give them looks or mumble under our breath, or sigh when they do something we don’t like? Of course not. It says so, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, as they observe your pure conduct with fear.

But why does it say in the same way? In the same way as what? For this, we have to go back to the chapter before. Keep in mind that this verse is applied to every relationship, not just the marriage relationship.

That brings us to 1 Peter 2:21-25

For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps: 22 “Who committed no sin, Nor was deceit found in His mouth”; 23 who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously; 24 who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness—by whose stripes you were healed. 25 For you were like sheep going astray, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.

This is one of the most humbling verses in the scriptures and makes me see how radically I fall short not only as a wife but as a believer. Because in that verse it says He is our example, applying this to every single believer. And after describing our Lord and how He laid Himself down to be mistreated, reviled, beaten, and mocked, and how He did not revile back but entrusted Himself to Him who judges righteously, we are then told as wives that in the same way to be subject to our own husbands. Just think about that for a moment. I don’t think I have ever realized how completely submissive the Lord has really called me to be before I did this study. This is a radical submission that does not seek its own but to be completely sold out for the good of another. Which is what He calls all of us to. See, Jesus didn’t come saying I will save them if they treat me good, or if they show me love, or if they show they appreciate me. He came completely sold out to the goal of our salvation. And He was going to go to that cross no matter if anyone followed Him. Why? Because of how much He loves us.

Do we follow this example? Or are we quick to justify our poor reactions by the actions of others? See, it doesn't matter what anyone else does; we are responsible for every word that comes out of our mouths and the way we react to others. When we are before the Lord, there is no justifying any sinful behavior. We need to be real with ourselves and stop looking for excuses to treat others in any way less than the Lord has called us to.

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